1
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,680
{\an1}HE BELLOWS
2
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,720
Ah!
HE GROANS
3
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,320
{\an1}HE LAUGHS
4
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,360
Woo-oh!
5
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,000
{\an1}BLASTS HORN
6
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,280
No!
7
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,640
{\an1}SHE SCREAMS
8
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:21,920
Arghh!
9
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,720
Aghhhh!
10
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,320
{\an4}CHEERING
11
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,120
Hello and the warmest of welcomes
12
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:41,000
to the Taskmaster Series 7
Grand Final!
13
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,960
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:48,320
I, Greg Davies, will be your
linchpin, carrying you through
15
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,040
the closing stages of the
competition, all the way up
16
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,680
to its dramatic climax.
So, for the last time,
17
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,560
please scream
your thoraxes apart for...
18
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,040
James Acaster...
19
00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,480
{\an1}CHEERING
20
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:00,960
..Jessica Knappett...
21
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,840
{\an1}CHEERING
22
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,440
..Kerry Godliman...
23
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,480
{\an1}CHEERING
24
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:06,880
..Phil Wang...
25
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,960
{\an1}CHEERING
26
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,320
..and Rhod Gilbert.
27
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,960
{\an1}CHEERING
28
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,760
And here is the boss of the boring.
29
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,360
And now only a couple of decades
from his first-ever pay rise.
30
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:23,360
Ladies and gentlemen, for the last
time this series, ooh, who is it?
31
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,000
{\an1}TICK-TICK—TICK!
32
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,640
It's little Alex Horne!
33
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,040
{\an1}CHEERING
34
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,560
Prize task? Yes.
35
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,120
And as it's the final,
we always come up with a profound
36
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,680
and challenging prize category,
37
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,400
so we've asked them to bring in
their most magnificent stationery.
38
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,480
LAUGHTER
You're going to give the owner
39
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,240
of the most magnificent stationery
five points, then at the end
40
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,080
of the episode the winner will need
an industrial-sized pencil case
41
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,680
to take home all their prizes.
42
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,920
Stationery? Yes. Jessica Knappett.
43
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,400
Boy, are you in for a treat?
44
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,960
I videoed my favourite pencil
for you.
45
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,640
This is a video of Jess's
magnificent stationery.
46
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,240
{\an1}LAUGHTER
47
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,360
Guess...
48
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,200
Guess what? Go on.
49
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,560
I haven't!
50
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,600
That does raise you up
in my estimation!
51
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,640
Phil.
52
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:27,760
You wanted magnificent stationery,
so I went out and I got you
53
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:32,480
custom-made, a solid gold pen.
54
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,520
AUDIENCE: Whoo!
55
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,760
Here it is. One pen.
56
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,920
{\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
57
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,120
Solid. It's gold. It's a pen.
58
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,560
I went to a man called Smith
for this, a blacksmith!
59
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,600
Well, I was going to say,
60
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,560
I know the work of a master
craftsman when I see one.
61
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,760
Pure gold and you can tell
because, it's actually,
62
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,600
if you hit the next image, there,
Alex... The next image.
63
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,400
There.
64
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,760
Oh, OK.
65
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,920
And you're not allowed to put
that on any old thing.
66
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:02,040
It is a lovely piece of artisan
craftsmanship and thanks
67
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,320
for making such a great effort for
this television show. For the final.
68
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,960
The final of this television show.
69
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,240
OK, Kerry.
70
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,920
This was really hard for me
because I love stationery.
71
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,600
I love... What, you think I don't?
72
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,240
Well, I don't know if you love it as
much as me. Oh, I do.
73
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,600
Because I love it the most. Yeah?
Right. I think I know what it is.
74
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:25,560
As a stationery connoisseur, your
instinct tells me, because I
75
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,760
know what the king of the
stationery items is...
76
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,200
Wouldn't it be wonderful if it's the
same thing? I genuinely don't know
77
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,680
what you brought in. Shall
we say it together? Yes.
78
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,040
One, two, three...
79
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,400
BOTH: A laminator!
80
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,320
{\an1}CHEERING
81
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,880
No!
82
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,120
Yes! There it is.
83
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,040
{\an1}CHEERING
84
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,280
Laminator.
85
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,600
I tell you something...
86
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,480
..call it gut instinct,
87
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,640
you and I are the only people in
this room excited
88
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:59,040
'by the laminator. I'm getting that,
no-one else knows
what we're talking about.
89
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,040
It's going to play into your
hand, though. Hey, Rhod... Yeah.
90
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,160
..a laminator's going to take
some beating.
91
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,280
I've taken
a slightly different approach
92
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,320
and my favourite TV programme
93
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,200
used to be Gladiators, Greg.
94
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,600
And my favourite character was
Hole Punch and I've brought in
95
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,840
a picture of Hole Punch off
Gladiators, Greg. Let's see it.
96
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,600
Ah, for God's sake.
97
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,760
Yes, let's see Hole Punch
from Gladiators, please, Alex.
98
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,680
There's Hole Punch, there he is.
99
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,600
{\an1}LAUGHTER
100
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,000
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
101
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,320
I didn't say when they would be.
102
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,040
Or where they will take place.
103
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,280
But there will
be physical consequences.
104
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,760
Pressure's on, James.
It's the final show.
105
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,880
Celebration.
106
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:50,120
So, I have brought in a pencil cake!
107
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,880
Here's James's pencil cake!
108
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,120
{\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
109
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,240
That is difficult, isn't it?
110
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,480
When is a bit of stationery not
a bit of stationery?
111
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,400
When it's a big cake!
112
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,200
I don't see what the problem is.
We've all got eyes.
113
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,960
{\an1}LAUGHTER
114
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,680
Can I ask what section of the
supermarket did you buy it from?
115
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,360
Stationery.
116
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,640
Fair enough. OK.
117
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,280
I'm going to
give one point to this prick.
118
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,880
One point to Rhod.
One point to Rhod. OK.
119
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,120
Two points because I almost fell
asleep just looking at the
120
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,600
picture, boring pencil girl.
121
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,920
That's a lovely song.
Thank you very much.
122
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,320
You loved it at the time. James...
123
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,920
..I don't know, I don't know if it's
a pencil or a cake.
124
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,080
I want to stick both in my mouth but
I'm only giving you three points.
125
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,960
Fair play. OK, Phil...
126
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,120
..I'm giving you four points
127
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:47,840
for your pen that was badly wrapped
in foil. You want to know why? Why?
128
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,000
Because I feel sorry for you.
LAUGHTER
129
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,880
And it goes without saying my new
best friend...
130
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,720
..the Laminating Queen -
five fat points.
131
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,480
There we go.
CHEERING
132
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,040
Come on, let's get going,
competition proper. OK, Greg,
133
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,600
but I'm afraid this is only
the mere beginnings of a task.
134
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,000
Are you ready? Ahhh... Here it is.
135
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,920
KNOCKING ON DOOR
Come in.
136
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:29,080
Oh, hello. Hello. Hello.
Welcome. Thanks.
137
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,120
{\an1}LAUGHTER
138
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,200
Was a good one. Oh.
139
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,080
When you hear this siren...
140
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:47,400
{\an1}SIREN BLARES
141
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,880
During a future task...
142
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,960
Put on a boiler suit and lie flat
on the ground.
143
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,760
Boiler...
144
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,880
..suit on.
145
00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,280
Now.
146
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,600
That's how I'll remember it. OK.
147
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,840
You may not touch or move a boiler
suit until the siren sounds.
148
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,600
Fastest wins.
149
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,440
Do you understand the task?
150
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,040
Yeah, not a fucking idiot!
151
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,400
You going to wait there, are you?
Until the siren sounds. OK.
152
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,440
It might not happen today.
I think it will.
153
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,160
Play the waiting game.
154
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,440
Bye, Rhod. See you later.
155
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,840
{\an1}APPLAUSE
156
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:35,440
How long did he stand there for?
Genuinely 20 minutes. Incredible.
157
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:36,960
Cameras cut.
158
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,600
Was it? We just left you there.
We were quite worried.
159
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,440
Because I guess we assumed that you
would assume it wasn't going to be
160
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:46,440
in the immediately next task.
Just like everyone else, except you.
161
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,040
More of that later.
162
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,920
Yes. But for now,
a Taskmaster staple - eggs!
163
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,440
Hi, James. A bunch of eggs.
164
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:09,960
Hi, James.
165
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,480
{\an1}LAUGHTER
166
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,640
Hungry?
167
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,840
Not for an egg.
168
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,480
Find the boiled egg.
169
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,880
'You may touch two eggs.
170
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,840
'You may damage two eggs.
171
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,760
You may not damage the boiled egg.
172
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:29,800
'You may touch two eggs.
You may damage two eggs.
173
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,840
So I can damage two and touch two.
But you can only touch two.
174
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,480
Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
175
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,320
Find the boiled egg.
176
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,120
Wait.
177
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,560
Oh.
178
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,320
It's quite hard.
APPLAUSE
179
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:52,680
But easy to find the
boiled egg, isn't it?
180
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,360
Obviously you can spin it,
couldn't you? Spin it.
181
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,480
'Spin the boiled egg, stop it.
What will it do? It'll stop.
Stop immediately.
182
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,680
An unboiled egg will...
Spin it. ..carry on spinning.
183
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,480
The stuff inside the egg keeps it
spinning. We all know that. Yeah!
184
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,400
'Or you could put it in... Saltwater.
It'll float, won't it?
Yeah. Everyone knows that.What?
185
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,040
D'you want to which method they
used? Yeah, yeah.
186
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,160
The first to try to identify the
boiled egg are Kerry Godliman
187
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,440
and Jessica Knappett
and Rhod Gilbert.
188
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,720
Not the boiled egg. Why do you think
that's not the boiled egg?
189
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,200
I just...
190
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,800
It's a good question.
191
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,960
LAUGHTER
Back in the game.
192
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,840
'Rejecting that one?
193
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,800
Rejection on
account of weight. Too light.
194
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,760
Yeah, that's boiled. Want me to stop
the clock? Oh, no, it's not real.
195
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,400
Oh...
196
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,160
'I've touched that one but I've found
out it's made of rubber. Yes.
197
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,600
Therefore, it's not an egg.
198
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,440
Rejection.
199
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,560
'On account of not being
an actual egg.
200
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,640
That was really light.
And you touched it.
201
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,960
Well, I might as well damage it.
Right, why not?
202
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,560
I can damage two eggs. I haven't
damaged any eggs yet. Correct.
203
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,800
{\an1}LAUGHTER
204
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:12,280
'Is it a hard-boiled egg
or a soft boiled egg?
205
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,600
I have to pick one that's boiled
206
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,720
without touching it. OK.
207
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,080
You can damage one if you want.
208
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,800
But then, what if
it's the boiled one?
209
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,360
Ahh.
210
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,200
I've damaged an egg. And it might be
the boiled egg.
211
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,040
Have you damaged that? Yes.
212
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,720
Do you know what, though? What?
213
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,760
I think this might be the
boiled egg.
214
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,280
{\an1}LAUGHTER
215
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,880
{\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS
216
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,160
That was the boiled egg!
217
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,080
WHISPERS: Oh, no!
218
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,320
Right, well...
219
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,480
You only touched and damaged
the boiled egg.
220
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:48,760
{\an1}APPLAUSE
221
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,200
If we imagine them as egg
detectives. OK.
222
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,840
Professional egg detectives.
223
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,600
Were there any methods you saw
being used there
224
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,960
that would impress you
at an egg crime scene?
225
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,200
I think my egg detection was quite
good, but I just accidentally
226
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,800
tampered with the evidence!
227
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,880
In what sense? In that you...
I broke the victim.
228
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,840
What are you, some sort of fucking
egg whisperer?
229
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,880
I'm going to level with you.
I found that quite upsetting.
230
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,280
It was like watching
a stranger, frankly.
231
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,960
OK. The first time I've seen your
approach towards these tasks
232
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:32,040
which is get in, do the job, bosh,
get out. Yeah. Failed dramatically.
233
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,720
I think it failed bad!
234
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:38,600
It was the fist that I went for
that was really...barbaric.
235
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,560
Yeah. Just a load of eggs, though,
innit? It's not just a load of eggs.
236
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,000
I'd lined them up alphabetically.
237
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,800
It was air, boiled, clingfilm,
dummy, eggs (quails) fresh...
238
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,920
There is... Oh, God,
there was a logic to it.
239
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,440
You can't just come in and go bosh
and start smashing things.
240
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,680
No, just read the eggs. Friends and
lovers, it's the end of part one.
241
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:58,280
'We have three parts left together.
Let's not waste them.
See you backstage.
242
00:11:58,320 --> 00:11:59,840
{\an1}CHEERING
243
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,920
{\an1}CHEERING
244
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:12,640
Hello and welcome back to the
Taskmaster Series 7 final.
245
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,640
Tenterhooks, that's what we're on.
246
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:17,040
Remind us how we're filling the
final full of glamour
247
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,080
and splendour, Alex. Well, there are
six eggs
248
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,480
and they're trying to work out
249
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,440
which is the boiled one. That's
right. We've blown a very,
250
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,640
very small percentage of the budget
on this one. All the more for you.
251
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,000
That's what you say, isn't it?
252
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:33,920
Kerry, Rhod and Jess have been
rubbish but it ain't over yet.
253
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:37,720
James and Phil are next
to investigate. Here we go!
254
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,240
{\an8}So that could still be a boiled
egg that's been painted red.
255
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,720
{\an8}Boiled in clingfilm.
256
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,000
I guess you could boil that.
257
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,320
That is not an egg.
258
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,600
{\an1}That's made of rubber or some shit.
259
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,160
I'll take that out of the equation.
260
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,720
That's not touching the egg,
I'm touching the egg cup. Suck it.
261
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,600
{\an1}LAUGHTER
262
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,000
{\an8}I think this feels more boiled than
this one.
263
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,960
No!
264
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,600
That's embarrassing.
265
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,800
Touching the clingfilm, not the egg.
266
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,880
Can hear it gooping. Gooping? Yeah.
267
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,880
That egg's hollow.
268
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,320
That's a shell. Didn't touch it.
269
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,960
I'm going to crack this one.
270
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,680
Urgh, it's a raw egg.
271
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,240
That was good news, that's good
news, I can eliminate that one.
272
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,960
You can damage one more egg.
That's an egg shell, not an egg.
273
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,200
Damaged was no eggs yet.
274
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,680
{\an1}LAUGHTER
275
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,280
Oh. It's feeling solid.
276
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,600
Is that a real egg?
277
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,920
OK. That's not an egg.
278
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,800
That's not a hard-boiled egg.
Have you damaged it?
279
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,040
Yes.
280
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,200
{\an1}LAUGHTER
281
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,600
This, this would be the
boiled egg. Have you damaged it?
282
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,840
The shell is a bit cracked.
The egg is fine.
283
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:56,040
'In that case, it's between
this one and that one.
284
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,160
It's this one.
That's the hard-boiled egg.
285
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
286
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,560
According to my records, that is
your fifth use of your catchphrase,
287
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,680
"suck it"... Yep. ..for the series.
288
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,840
The new catchphrase
was born during that.
289
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,600
"I can hear it gooping!"
290
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,400
Phil... Oh, God!
291
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:23,200
I'd completely forgotten
what I did in this task.
292
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,960
And now I realise why I blocked
it out of my memory.
293
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,000
After one minute Phil pointed at the
red one and said, "That one's red."
294
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,240
It was. It's not wrong.
295
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,800
Timing-wise, James was both the
fastest and the slowest because
296
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,880
he was the only one who actually
completed the task. Four minutes 51.
297
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,560
Five fat points. To James Acaster.
James gets five points.
298
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,200
{\an1}CHEERING
299
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,440
Score them, please, Alex. I'm going
to just hint at the series score.
300
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,960
I don't want to give anything away
at this stage, except that
301
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,760
Phil is now 30 points
behind his rivals.
302
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:02,920
Then we have two people in joint
third and two people in joint first.
303
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,280
It's me and you.
No, it's not any more.
304
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,840
But in this particular episode,
with a towering eight points,
305
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,440
the reader is Mr James Acaster.
306
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,320
{\an1}APPLAUSE
307
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,040
Very good.
Do we have time for another one?
308
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:19,400
We have time for two nother one.
But first of all...
309
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,960
First of all, we get to see
the official Taskmaster
310
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,080
computer hub, at last. Here we go.
311
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,520
Yes!
312
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,920
I don't play video games.
I don't know how to do them.
313
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,320
That's you two on the screen there.
314
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,120
Me and the Taskmaster.
315
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,080
You and the patron saint of pastry.
316
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,800
Oh, no way!
317
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,760
Look at us all.
318
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,880
That's me. Select.
319
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:08,480
There I am. Oh, God.
Where am I going?
320
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,800
Oh, wow.
321
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,160
Oh, it's the house.
HE GIGGLES
322
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,920
You got my skin tone just right.
323
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,680
OK.
324
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,600
Oh, no way!
325
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,120
Come find the task on the table.
326
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,680
Oh, my God!
327
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:27,480
Oh, that better not be who
I think it is. Hello.
328
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:31,160
Who is that? Is that you? Yes.
So I just... Hey!
329
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,240
Physically recreate
a classic computer game.
330
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,880
Best recreation wins,
you have one hour.
331
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,840
I'm way out of my depth here.
332
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,560
Your time starts now.
333
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,680
I don't want to mess this up.
334
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,120
Because it's a dream come true.
335
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,280
{\an1}APPLAUSE
336
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,160
This is potentially one of my
favourite tasks of all time.
337
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,120
I am fizzing with excitement,
338
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,200
much as Phil was when
he walked into the room.
339
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,800
"Yeah!"
340
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,520
The cry of the nerd.
341
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,000
Look, I just want to get on with it
342
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,720
because I'm excited to see
what they did.
343
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,320
OK. First up,
let's start with Jessica Knappett.
344
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,200
A-three, two, one...
345
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,440
Go!
346
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,000
Woohoo!
347
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,520
Nyooow!
348
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,040
Argh!
349
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,200
Yeah!
350
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,760
Victory!
351
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,800
{\an4}APPLAUSE
352
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,520
Very good.
353
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,920
That is awesome.
354
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,240
Isn't it? It was awesome to do.
355
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,960
It's the first time I've been
allowed to have fun in the show.
356
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,080
{\an1}LAUGHTER
357
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,760
I mean, tick. Thanks. Who's next?
358
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,840
Next up, we're going to see
a computer game noob, Rhod Gilbert.
359
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,280
Uh-oh.
360
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,720
Is anybody not happy to kneel and
wear a box on their head?
361
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,560
My memory of the game isn't that
great, but as I remember it,
362
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,520
you guys shuffle like this.
363
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,240
OK, let's have you bending down
a little bit more.
364
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,040
Try and keep your rows, we're
losing formation here. Come on.
365
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,720
You, sir, are shit.
366
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,960
Pew, pew-pew, pew, pew!
367
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,840
ALL: Pew, pew-pew, pew, pew!
368
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,800
Good, good. OK.
369
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,240
In positions. Squat.
370
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,720
Boom, boom, boom, boom...
371
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,560
Pew, pew-pew, pew, pew!
372
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,040
Keep it going!
373
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,080
Pew, pew-pew, pew, pew!
374
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,480
Keep the noises coming.
375
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,000
Oh!
376
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,480
Keep the noises going.
377
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,560
Boom, boom, boom, boom!
378
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,800
Keep the noise coming!
379
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,680
Pew, pew-pew, pew, pew!
380
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,040
Oh!
381
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,960
{\an1}APPLAUSE
382
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,600
Thank you.
383
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,000
Well done.
384
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,120
Wow.
385
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,920
That's insane.
386
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,360
It's insane.
387
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,400
The only thing that has
taken off it for me,
388
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,840
as it often is with your tasks,
is I get drawn into watching you
389
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,960
try to physically recover after
a tiny amount of exercise.
390
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,160
It was actually a lot more
physical than it looked.
391
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,120
I was entertaining myself with
a little extra layer of
392
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,400
seeing how many of them
I could hit in the plums.
393
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:32,440
And on the second to last one,
you audibly heard it as well.
394
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,240
You heard him go, "Oooh!"
395
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,000
As a spectacle, Jesus Christ,
incredible. Mm-hmm.
396
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,440
An incredible video game.
Who's next?
397
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,120
Now it's someone who I know
genuinely owns his own computer.
398
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,400
It's Phil Wang.
399
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,880
{\an1}GREG WHISTLES
400
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,880
{\an1}GUNSHOT
401
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,440
{\an1}DOOR CREAKS
402
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,600
{\an1}GUNSHOTS
403
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,080
{\an1}ALARM BLARES
404
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,360
{\an1}GUNSHOT
405
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,040
{\an1}APPLAUSE
406
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,640
Yeah!
407
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,560
Incredible reworking of GoldenEye.
408
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,720
Again,
not a game I've particularly played.
409
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,680
Do the characters walk around
like T-Rexes? Yeah.
410
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,800
Yeah, that was a shot-for-shot
recreation of the original.
411
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,440
That's precisely how they move.
He was dressed as...
412
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,360
Oddjob. Oddjob. Oddjob.
413
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,640
And I was James Bond
cos I'm so cool.
414
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,400
Why not, you know,
in a James Bond story,
415
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,280
just set everything in one room?
Why not?
416
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,840
Hello, want to see someone
win a pencil cake?
417
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,320
Are you that kind of person?
418
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:18,200
Then come back for part three of the
final and we'll see what we can do.
419
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:32,920
Hello! Welcome to the penultimate
part of this all-star final.
420
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,960
Just one more wodge of loathsome
adverts to go, thank God.
421
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,200
But on a lighter note, weren't
we watching a highly creative task
422
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,720
before the break, Alex?
You mean like physically recreating
423
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,560
a classic computer game,
that sort of thing?
424
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,240
Well, it is that sort of thing,
it's exactly that sort of thing,
425
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,000
and here is Kerry Godliman's
sort of thing.
426
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,480
{\an1}SHE HUMS A TUNE
427
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,080
Oh!
428
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:55,600
Oh, just in time. Yeah.
429
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,520
Can I make it go where
I want it to go?
430
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,520
Yeah, but you're not allowed to sing
the theme tune any more
431
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,040
in case we can't clear it. OK.
432
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,320
Rules...
433
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,200
I'm not sure about that.
434
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,040
That's got to be allowed, hasn't it?
435
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,120
Oh, that's a line now.
Yeah, it's a line.
436
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,520
This is chaos now.
437
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:22,680
Now I can't...
438
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,920
No, I'm not happy now,
because now there's no winning.
439
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,480
If there's no winning,
there's no point.
440
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,360
Oh! That's it. No.
441
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,920
Yes, it is. No.
442
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,440
I'm going to start speeding up.
443
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,720
Oh, no, that's not fair!
That's not nice.
444
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:37,960
This is what happens.
445
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,440
Oh, no!
446
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,160
No!
447
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,960
You're spoiling my game!
448
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,320
Kerry, you've lost, game over.
I didn't lose.
449
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,320
You didn't win. No.
450
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:51,600
Thanks, Kerry.
451
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,920
Not happy.
452
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,880
{\an1}APPLAUSE
453
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,080
Really wound me up.
454
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,400
In keeping with your approach to
things. What do we need for this?
455
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,160
Bricks, get them in. Bosh.
I enjoyed it.
456
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,440
I've got to say,
I quite enjoyed being the person
457
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,080
who pushed the bricks into Tetris.
458
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,640
I think that's quite a good metaphor
for my role in the show.
459
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,600
You were going way too fast and
you wound me up, to be honest.
460
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,920
Yes, yes. It was quite stressful.
That was the bit I enjoyed.
461
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,040
Yeah, I sensed that.
Amazing, as they all have been.
462
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,000
This is going to be the worst one
ever to judge.
463
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:30,160
Yeah, they've been solid. Let's hope
that James's is absolutely shit.
464
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,000
He's dressed appropriately tonight.
It is GTAcaster.
465
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,440
Ready? Yes.
466
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,480
{\an8}
467
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,480
{\an1}BEEP, BEEP!
468
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,200
TYRES SCREECH
Come here!
469
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,000
Come here!
470
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,400
471
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,040
472
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,680
473
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,160
474
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,440
475
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,760
{\an1}BELL RINGS
476
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,840
Fuck you!
477
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,840
{\an1}SIRENS WAIL
478
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,480
Hey!
479
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,320
Oh, no, it's the cops!
480
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,160
Fuck you! Pardon?
ROCKET BLASTS
481
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,000
Oh! Ooh!
482
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,080
GUNSHOTS
Ah, argh!
483
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,120
{\an1}APPLAUSE
484
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,600
There is a man who has played
a lot of Grand Theft Auto.
485
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,440
Yes.
486
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,240
All done within an hour?
Yeah, all done within an hour.
487
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,840
They weren't real guns.
No, no, I gathered.
488
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,640
We made them up with cardboard
but they looked real, didn't they?
489
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,760
And I just wanted to beat Alex up
in as many ways as possible.
490
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,600
Yeah, well, everyone wants that.
491
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,840
Do you want to score these?
Yeah, I mean...
492
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,680
Oh, God, this is such an awful
job when they're good.
493
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,640
It's much better when
you're rubbish.
494
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:37,120
OK, I'm going to give Kerry two
points because she was frustrated
495
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:41,600
by the game that she created and
physically threw herself on it. OK.
496
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,720
I cannot separate Phil and Jess.
497
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:47,320
I thought they were both
beautiful updates of classics.
498
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:48,920
Rhod, a magnificent four points,
499
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:52,320
because I thought it was
a visual feast to mine eyes.
500
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:56,080
And I'm going to give five points
to James because after
501
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:59,400
seeing that, I'm not 100% convinced
that he isn't a character
502
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,120
from a computer game.
503
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,120
A phenomenal performance,
James Acaster.
504
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,080
APPLAUSE
Thank you.
505
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:08,880
Very good. Well done, everybody.
Amazing. Next task, please.
506
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,560
I think you mean last task, please.
507
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,200
And I'm afraid it's one that's
a little bit ropey.
508
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,520
Argh!
509
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,640
Ahhhh!
510
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,360
Argh!
511
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,480
Alex. Phil.
512
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,200
Have a seat.
513
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:31,480
Ahem.
514
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,720
Tie yourself up as securely
as possible.
515
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,680
Where do you get off on this stuff?
I'm just doing what I'm told.
516
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:49,720
Is it sexual?
517
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:54,000
Slowest to be released by Alex wins.
518
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,840
You have 10 minutes.
519
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,520
Your time starts now.
520
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,760
Right, rope.
521
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,800
{\an1}APPLAUSE
522
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,080
Good. Is it sexual?
523
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:07,000
No, it's just a task based on how
you make me go to sleep every night.
524
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,080
You say, "Tie yourself up,
go to sleep,"
525
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,880
and then you untie me in the
morning. Crack on with sleep. Yeah.
526
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,960
Good. Who are we going to see first?
527
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Here is James Acaster
getting himself tied in knots.
528
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,400
Now, it doesn't say to the chair,
does it?
529
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,600
No, so that's there like a decoy.
530
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:30,320
Tying yourself up is a bit tricky,
isn't it?
531
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,080
Where's the goddamn end of this?
532
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,320
It's insane what you can
get people to do, isn't it?
533
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:41,760
Tie yourself up?
All right, no questions asked.
534
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,640
Now, why have I gone for
my feet first?
535
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,920
{\an1}ALARM BLARES
536
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,120
Oh, shit.
537
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,720
{\an1}APPLAUSE
538
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,160
Oh, no! Argh!
539
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,360
You piece of shit, Alex!
540
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,960
This is the worst one so for! OK.
541
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,000
OK. Oh...
542
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,640
Oh, this is the worst day
of my life.
543
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,120
Fuck you. Oh...
544
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,120
Fucking arseholes.
545
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,080
Oh, goddammit.
546
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,240
OK, thank you, James.
547
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,200
You've got two minutes, 14
to finish off your tying up. What?!
548
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:49,880
What are you talking about?
549
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,320
Well, I've still got to try to
untie you.
550
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,360
Why should I still have to do that?
551
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,160
It's the task, James, isn't it?
552
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:03,280
I was doing so well with that.
How did I not see that coming?
553
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,440
I'd completely forgotten about that.
50 seconds.
554
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:07,880
50 seconds...
555
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:11,720
Oh, no.
556
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,760
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
557
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,520
{\an1}APPLAUSE
558
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,240
In my estimation, this is
the third time during this series
559
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:34,280
we've seen James Acaster
genuinely angry.
560
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,400
When they did it, I was, like,
I was very furious,
561
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,880
but I was thinking,
"Oh, this will be good."
562
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,560
{\an1}LAUGHTER
563
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:42,920
Fair enough.
564
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,680
Alex, how long after was it?
565
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,120
I can tell you that for
all five people,
566
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,720
the alarm goes off five minutes
into the ten minutes of tying up.
567
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,960
Completely fair. Who are we going to
see tying themselves up next?
568
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,200
Well, the question is, will the next
three also fall for our trick?
569
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,680
Here is Gullible Godliman,
Naive Knappett and Fool Wang.
570
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,600
Ready? Here we go.
571
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,320
How can I make this harder for you?
572
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,760
I think I'll tie myself
to the chair.
573
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,240
How can I make this harder?
574
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,560
Just lots and lots of knots.
575
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,760
How much time do I have left?
Six minutes.
576
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,920
I haven't thought this through.
577
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,800
What's this?
578
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:44,840
{\an1}SIREN PLAYS
579
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,760
Oh! Oh!
580
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,640
IN TIME WITH SIREN:
581
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,480
SIREN PLAYS
No!
582
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,760
No, that's not fair.
That's not fair.
583
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,560
SIREN PLAYS
584
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,240
Is that the...?
585
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:03,080
Right...
586
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,080
Well, maybe I can get both my legs
in one leg.
587
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,480
Which I can!
588
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,640
That's completely unreasonable.
Why's that?
589
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:12,920
Well, you have to untie me.
590
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,040
I can't untie you
till 4¼ minutes is up.
591
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,680
Well, that's not fair!
592
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:18,240
Clearly on the ground.
593
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,560
By the time I'm out of this one,
I'll have lost that one.
594
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,760
I might as well do this one...
Right.
595
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,320
..and then afterwards
go and get the boiler suit on.
596
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:30,960
LAUGHING: Yeah,
I'm really pissed off.
597
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,080
Jess, I've stopped that clock.
598
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:39,320
Now you've 2 minutes 20 to
finish off tying yourself up. OK.
599
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,760
2¼ minutes
till I come and rescue you. Um...
600
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,840
Well, I've tied myself up now.
There's not more I can achieve.
601
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,240
Gosh.
602
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,480
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
603
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,280
{\an4}WHISTLE BLOWS
604
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,760
Right, I've untied you.
I'm stopping that clock.
605
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,640
How long ago did it go?
606
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,280
{\an1}SHE CRIES STROPPILY
607
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:11,880
Are you done?
608
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,120
That was quick.
609
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:14,560
Oh, don't patronise me.
610
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,280
{\an1}APPLAUSE
611
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,160
That wasn't part of the task,
was it?
612
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,960
That was just full-on kid hissy fit
on the floor. Yeah.
613
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,720
"WAAAH!"
614
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,600
It's fair to say that,
throughout the series,
615
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,800
Phil has really had much of a sense
of urgency, even under the...
616
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:31,960
But it really paid off for you
this time.
617
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,200
For once,
being really shit at one task
618
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,040
automatically make me
suddenly good at another.
619
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,200
The difference between your reaction
to the siren
620
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,840
and the other two as well was like,
"No! Oh, God!"
621
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,040
And you were like, "Yep, OK."
622
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:53,040
Also, we had been warned. I don't
know why you guys were so surprised.
623
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,840
Jess, pleased with that?
624
00:32:55,880 --> 00:33:00,960
I felt like when the alarm went off,
it was really just...admiration.
625
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,280
And it was only when I was writhing
around on the floor,
626
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,400
trying to get into that boiler
suit... Sheer panic struck, right?
627
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,360
That was the moment
where I remembered
628
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,400
that my agent told me it would be
a good career opportunity.
629
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,080
Just one little old part left.
630
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,200
One last desperate scramble
for points.
631
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,200
And let me tell you something...
632
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,760
Closer.
633
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,760
Closer!
634
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,760
WHISPERS: ..I love you.
635
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,920
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
636
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,080
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
637
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:40,920
Hello! And welcome back for the last
time to Taskmaster Series 7.
638
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,120
It's the final part of the series!
639
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,600
{\an1}CHEERING
640
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,080
What a shame and how sad.
641
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,600
The task currently in play
is a special double one.
642
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,360
First, they had to tie themselves
up, then a siren went off,
643
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,160
which meant they had to untie
themselves and put a boiler suit on.
644
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,880
Then they had to
tie themselves up again.
645
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:00,720
Finally, here is Rhod's
interpretation of the task.
646
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,160
Ha-ha-ha!
647
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,000
OK.
648
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,760
Alex, would you, er...
Would you sit there, please?
649
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:18,920
Seven minutes to go, Rhod.
650
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,040
Yeah, that's OK.
651
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,880
That's quite tight.
That's quite tight? Yeah.
652
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,400
That's fine. As long as you
can breathe, that should be fine.
653
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,520
Have you done this before? Yeah.
654
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,640
How's that?
SIREN PLAYS
655
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:33,080
Quite tight?
656
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,320
Yeah, that's tight.
That's all nice and tight?
657
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,680
{\an1}SIREN PLAYS
658
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,560
What's that noise?
659
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:47,720
That's the siren.
660
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:50,680
Is that just a local noise?
No. What siren?
661
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,920
SIREN PLAYS
What siren is that?
662
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,080
You had to do something
when a siren sounded.
663
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,360
Yes, there's two tasks on ago now,
isn't there? Yeah.
664
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:00,880
This is the problem, isn't it?
665
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,800
Right. Just lie on the ground,
wasn't it?
666
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,720
OK, I've stopped the clock for that
task now. You've completed that one.
667
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:18,000
The boiler suit? That's done. OK.
668
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,360
Now I'm going to untie you
in 1 minute 55 seconds. OK.
669
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:24,400
Pop your hand in there. My shoe?
Yeah.
670
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,680
40 seconds... 40... Oh, I don't know
how long there is left.
671
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:32,360
I'm going to count. 35 seconds.
31, 30. Thank you.
672
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,120
Hang on a minute, then.
APPLAUSE
673
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:35,200
I'm blowing my whistle.
674
00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:37,400
OK, yeah, blow your whistle now.
ALEX WHISTLES
675
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,800
OK, I'm coming to untie you.
Yeah, I'm tied up.
676
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:49,040
I'm going to go and get a hot drink.
I'm coming.
677
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,080
You're coming for me, are you? Yeah.
678
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,080
I'm going to untie you
any second now.
679
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,240
Do you want something for lunch?
Yes, please. What would you like?
680
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:04,680
Something sharp. OK.
681
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:19,880
I'll get you.
682
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,920
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
683
00:36:25,720 --> 00:36:28,480
I suppose you're going to have
a go at me and shout and scream
684
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,160
and accuse me of cheating. No,
that was fucking kick-ass. Genius.
685
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,040
It was genius. Rhod, that is
absolutely genius. Yeah.
686
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,520
I would love to hate that.
We'd love to hate that.
687
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,560
But that was fucking great.
It was brilliant.
688
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,800
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Thank you very much.
689
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,320
I think your team-mates
are right to praise you,
690
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:45,880
because it was mightily impressive.
691
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,240
But the thing that I noticed,
692
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,360
above and beyond how clever
your response was,
693
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,360
is how cold you were.
694
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:53,960
Just a psychopath.
695
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,760
There was no need to put a bucket
on his head, was there? That was...
696
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,280
No. Thank you, Kerry.
..way beyond the brief.
697
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,560
Or a hat on the bucket. Yeah.
698
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:04,200
I never actually untied him.
699
00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:07,680
He untied himself in the end
and then came and untied me.
700
00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:09,600
Got to be a bonus point.
701
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:12,520
No. No. Oh, come on! No, no, no.
702
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,440
So the timings were,
in terms of me untying them...
703
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,680
..I untied Phil in 1 minute.
704
00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:19,680
2 minutes 45, I untied Kerry.
705
00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:22,240
2 minutes 46, I untied Jess. Oof!
706
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,880
James, eight minutes five seconds
because of the gaffer.
707
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,640
But Rhod... He untied me.
708
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,320
OK, so it goes five to Rhod,
four to James, three to Jess,
709
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:30,720
two to Kerry, one point to Phil.
710
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,480
But in the other one,
Kerry was the slowest, obviously,
711
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,640
to put on the boiler suit.
8 minutes 30. One point.
712
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,680
James, 2 minutes 46. Two points.
713
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:39,480
Jess, 2 minutes 36. Three points.
714
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,360
Rhod, four points
with 2 minutes 22.
715
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,880
But Phil wins five points
for putting the boiler suit on
716
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,560
in 1 minute 14. That is...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
717
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:47,840
..a points extravaganza!
718
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,360
Well, then. There's only one chance
left snatch some points.
719
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,880
So please abandon your chairs,
720
00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:01,000
head to the stage for
the final task of the series.
721
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,480
{\an1}CHEERING
722
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:11,800
Enjoyable already.
723
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,160
Who's going to read the task out?
James?
724
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,360
Would you like me
to open it for you? No.
725
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:25,160
"Prod the person in front of you
with either a finger or a sausage.
726
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,000
"If the product person
guesses incorrectly
727
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,440
"whether they were prodded
by a finger or a sausage,
728
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,040
"they get eliminated.
729
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,480
"Last prodded prodder standing
wins." OK?
730
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,040
So it's a classic game of
Sausage Or Finger?, right?
731
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,280
Rhod, please face forward
with your blindfold on.
732
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,600
You're just about to be
prodded by Wang.
733
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:51,920
OK, Phil, I'm ready.
734
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,560
Rhod... Lovely technique.
735
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,800
Oh, this is dangerous. Sausage!
736
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:02,280
ALL: Ooh!
Oh!
737
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,880
Oh, he's fallen!
738
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,040
No!
739
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:10,520
No. Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Afraid so. I'm afraid so.
740
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,480
You cold-fingered freak!
741
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:18,320
That was classic Sausage Or Finger?
742
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,080
You are now going to
touch Jessica's hand
743
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:21,600
with either a sausage or a finger.
744
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:23,480
Classic competition conditions.
745
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,560
Oh. Ooh!
746
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,840
Sneaky little fucker, aren't you?
747
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,920
Jessica, sausage or finger?
Oh-h-h-h-h!
748
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:39,520
Finger. She's gone.
Oh! She's gone.
749
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,200
No! Yeah. She has gone.
750
00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:44,960
OK then, James,
please prod Kerry's neck.
751
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,680
What, am I putting this on?
Yes, please.
752
00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:50,160
Don't make me laugh!
753
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,720
I have to focus, James.
754
00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:58,120
Sausage. It was a sausage,
it was a sausage.
755
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,960
Classic sabotage.
756
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,280
Blindfold on, please.
Yeah. OK, off you go.
757
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,440
Phil?
758
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,480
Finger.
759
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:10,800
He's gone!
760
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,080
He's gone! Argh! He's gone!
761
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:16,240
The Iceman's gone.
We have a showdown.
762
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:17,840
At this point, I will ask you both
763
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,480
to stand either side of the
middle circle, and face each other.
764
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,440
Looks like we've got ourselves
a sausage fight.
765
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,960
If you could stand there.
I tell you, since I last saw you,
766
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,200
we've had very different times,
haven't we?
767
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:29,760
We're going to do one at a time now.
768
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,440
It's sudden death, which means
it's time for the forehead round.
769
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,040
Here we go. James...prod first.
770
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,000
HE MOUTHS
Finger.
771
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,720
It was finger. It was finger.
Great. OK.
772
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:46,960
Let's play.
773
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,000
Sausage.
Kerry Godliman's the winner!
774
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,760
Ah-hoo-hoo-hoo!
775
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,880
That's so cold. It's over!
776
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,280
Come down and join me.
777
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,200
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
778
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,560
And a new international sport
is born. Sausage Fingers.
779
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,280
So there was one winner.
Well, of course.
780
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,440
It was the Sausage Queen, Kerry,
with five points.
781
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,440
She gets five points!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
782
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,640
And what's that's done
to the scoreboard?
783
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,360
Well, they're all in
double figures,
784
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:20,880
but there is one outright leader,
785
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,400
and that man is Mr James Acaster
with 19 points.
786
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:28,280
{\an1}CHEERING
787
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:33,120
James Acaster wins. Go and scoop up
your magnificent stationery.
788
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,720
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
789
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:38,000
Only a matter of moments until
we find out the series champion.
790
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,120
But, for now,
let's allow James Acaster
791
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,040
to enjoy his moment once more.
792
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,880
James Acaster!
CHEERING
793
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,840
CHEERING
It was a cake!
794
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,840
Hello, you dear, doting viewers.
795
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,960
Sadly, we've come to the end of
the seventh series.
796
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,160
But there is only one golden head.
797
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,200
So there can be only one
golden winner.
798
00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:15,840
It's now that I refer to my chief of
numbers to reveal the final scores.
799
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,160
Little Alex Horne...
800
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,560
what do you know?
801
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,520
Thank you, Greg.
802
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,800
So, in last place, or fifth place -
803
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,800
but it is last place - with 133...
804
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,080
And I think it's worth saying
he didn't win any episodes
805
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,840
but he never did that badly,
806
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,040
so I think he deserves
an enormous ovation.
807
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,080
..Mr Phil Wang with 135.
808
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,400
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
809
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:45,040
In fourth, and then third,
with 165 then 167 points...
810
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,680
..please give it up for,
in fourth place, James,
811
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:50,920
and in third place, Rhod Gilbert.
812
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:54,480
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
813
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,960
I can now reveal that this
has been the closest series
814
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,800
in Taskmaster history,
with just one point separating...
815
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,120
Oh-ho-ho!
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
816
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,720
..first and second place. Imagine!
817
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:09,440
With 175 points, in second place...
GREG GASPS
818
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,320
..it's Jessica Knappett.
819
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,880
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I knew it.
820
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,640
Well done, mate.
821
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:25,520
Your Series 7 Taskmaster Champion
is Kerry Godliman!
822
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:27,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
176!
823
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,960
God. Congratulations. Thank you.
Congratulations, Kerry.
824
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,240
Thank you very much.
825
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,840
Whoo! Kerry Godliman!
826
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,920
Thank you so much for watching.
827
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,960
Thank you, Little Alex Horne,
for being so little.
828
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,160
Thank you again
to our stupendous cast
829
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,600
and, of course, colossal
congratulations to Kerry Godliman
830
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,520
for becoming series champion!
831
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,480
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
832
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,760
Series 8 is next. Fancy that?
We'll see you there.
833
00:43:55,800 --> 00:44:00,560
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
834
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,360
Subtitles by Red Bee Media